Dad,
So good to hear from you! Sorry I didn't let you guys know that my p day had changed. I would love to receive printed letters but i'm not sure how often I might be able to receive them. Apparently our president withholds mail and packages at his discretion so it might be hard. Apparently the pouch is discontinued here? but i'm not sure. I can send letters with us postage with some member who goes to the states regularly and have them mailed that way. If I send them with Mexican postage it could be months before they actually get to you. We will figure it out, just let me know whenever you learn something on your end.
This week was both very long and very short. That happens a lot here. We had our first interviews with the president on Thursday and he seems alright. His style seems to be rules rules rules (not like anyone has ever tried to mandate that we all obey to get back to heaven or anything) I keep hearing about new rules that surprise and frustrate me. The way I see it its my attitude that will lead me to be a good missionary and my intelligence that will keep me safe. If i'm not here to work and do good no number of rules will make that happen, likewise if I'm stupid no rule under heaven will keep me safe. Alas it appears that I am expected to live, work, and behave like an adult whilst being treated like a child. I shouldn't complain but it is indeed difficult for me to adjust to having very little freedom, all in good time I guess.
I had a hard time at the beginning of this week because I often feel like i'm just isaac lee with a missionary badge. I don't feel any different, I just try to do missionary things. That bothers me because I feel like I have to become a missionary and that is not happening. Likewise I finished the book of mormon again and prayed for a confirmation that it is true and I don't feel any different. I know there aren't going to be fireworks or anything but I feel like I know so little. I want to share my testimony but the holy ghost can only testify of truth and I feel like if I tell anyone that I know anything for sure about this gospel that it is disingenuous. This has been my big struggle this week. You know how I am, I understand tangible things very well but I am about as spiritually sensitive as your average 2x4. That has been fine up until now but I thought that as a missionary I would be given what I needed to be effective. Now I just feel inadequate and out of place. I can't think of anything that is holding me back, i'm really trying but I don't feel like i'm moving forward. Sorry for the stream of consciousness but I need someone who speaks english to understand me and help me out a little.
There was also plenty of good this week. It turns out I now live within walking distance of not one but two welding supply places. That doesn't do me much good now but it does make me smile when I walk past either of them. We had our first baptismal service this week for Rafaella. Even though she had been prepared by the previous missionaries it was still a great experience. She is very excited about the church and seems to be integrating with the ward well. There were some other good things that happened but I need to finish up here so I can write Mom too. As for the table, that's hard. From what I remember the metal will have to be trimmed before the legs are put on. My idea was to use the circular saw to cut the metal them put threaded inserts into the wood and bolt on the metal legs. That's my elegant solution. I do kind of want to finish it myself but I realize what a burden that is. What do you think?
I love hearing about your missionary experiences, how awesome. You are my missionary inspiration. When in doubt I try to think of what you would do. My hope is that somehow if I work super hard for these two years I somehow develop all of those missionary abilities that you have.
I'm also glad to hear that the old van is going strong. I love that car with a passion.
I'll try to write you more next week but until then, love you!
